Baby Joy After Grief

Photo: Noah Graham Photography

Photo: Noah Graham Photography

It’s time to expand the family (along with my waistline)!  My husband Jim and I are thrilled to be expecting baby 2 in the fall, but it hasn’t been an easy road to get to this point.
As many women out there know, miscarriages are tough. I blamed myself. What did I do wrong? Why did my body reject this baby? Will I ever have another healthy pregnancy?
My first happened on a flight from New York to Los Angeles. I will spare you all the details, but it was traumatic. I felt completely alone though I was surrounded by a crowd of fellow passengers. The pain was intense but the realization of what was happening was much more difficult to endure.
I am grateful both losses happened during the first trimester and that I had very capable doctors, including one ER doc who made me laugh so hard I thought either I was completely insane or that I had somehow found myself in a dream and we were taping an episode of “Scrubs”… traumatic event… hysteria, I suppose. :(   
It took me months before I could talk about it. I just could not even vocalize what had happened because I didn’t want to face the reality of it. I have found it healing, though, to share my story and have had so many other women respond with “I also had miscarriages. Here’s what happened…”
This pregnancy is much different from when I was expecting my daughter Kate. Because of my history, I am more on edge and constantly praying that everything goes smoothly. That said, there are many moments of humor and excitement. I plan to write about those too! Please feel free to share your stories and comments. I would love to hear from you! And to all the expectant mamas out there, we can do this! Together!
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